It’s day seven of “Operation Epic Fury” – and the White House is posting through it. The war in Iran that Team Trump wants to show us is tailored for the short attention spans of the vertical video era.
Consider this clip posted on X by the official White House account last night, which intersperses declassified footage of US drones hitting their targets with scenes from Gladiator, Iron Man, Braveheart, Top Gun: Maverick and Yu-Gi Oh. Or the video from earlier in the week that cuts between planes and bunkers being blown up and… SpongeBob SquarePants. The Israel Defense Forces’ X account has been equally out of pocket, while UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer’s TikTok aping the White House style is, like Starmer, just a bit sad.
Then we have the daily press conferences from the face of the conflict, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth. “This was never meant to be a fair fight,” he says, soundtracked by Hans Zimmer-esque strings as he talks up the might and precision of the US effort. “We have only just begun to fight.” The hawkish Hegseth of the Houthi groupchat is resurgent with the administration on war footing.
These videos come in concert with President Trump’s new preferred interview format: the sub-three-minute phone conversation with any reporter who calls him – as Cockburn described Tuesday.
All this adds up to a rather perfunctory view of America’s most consequential military activity in two decades. To cut through the PR, we’re left depending on more traditional avenues. “Did the United States air strike a girls’ elementary school and kill 175 people?” asked the New York Times’s Shawn McCreesh at Wednesday’s White House press briefing. “Not that we know of, Shawn” responded press secretary Karoline Leavitt. Subsequent stories from the Times and Reuters indicate that it’s “likely” the US was responsible. Cockburn wonders what soundtrack the White House social team will add to that footage. Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out,” perhaps.
Messi situation
President Trump took a break from waging war on Iran to show further support for “the Beautiful Game,” as he hosted the MLS Cup-winning Inter Miami soccer team at the White House yesterday afternoon.
The team, captained by eight-time Ballon d’Or winner Lionel Messi, presented Trump with a #47 shirt. Yet the conflict remained top of Trump’s mind at the start of proceedings. “All of their airplanes are gone. Communications are gone. Missiles are gone,” Trump said. “Other than that, they’re doing quite well.”
Trump reminisced about seeing the great Brazilian forward Pelé play, turning to Messi to say, “I don’t know, you may be better than Pelé.” The President also remarked on the squad’s looks. “Good-looking people. I don’t like good-looking men, you don’t feel so good about yourself.” Too right.
Iran’s soccer team was due to compete in this summer’s World Cup, with matches in Los Angeles and Seattle – but after the strikes, their presence seems unlikely. Trump, who was awarded the FIFA Peace Prize three months ago, said “I really don’t care” when asked about the prospect of Iran playing.
On our radar
ART OF THE NO-DEAL “There will be no deal with Iran except UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER!” the President wrote on Truth Social this morning. “IRAN WILL HAVE A GREAT FUTURE. ‘MAKE IRAN GREAT AGAIN (MIGA!).’”
LABOR PAINS The US lost 92,000 jobs last month as the unemployment rate rose to 4.4 percent, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
TEL US MORE German publisher Axel Springer has struck a $770 million deal to buy London’s Daily Telegraph, outbidding the Daily Mail and General Trust.
Markwayne my words
So farewell to Kristi Noem, the Trump cabinet’s top aura farmer, and her close advisor Corey Lewandowski, the “MAGA Pete Davidson” (Cockburn, 2023). Noem departs the Department of Homeland Security to become “special envoy to the Shield of the Americas” (because, say it with Cockburn, no one gets fired from Trump 2.0). Your correspondent doesn’t yet know what the “Shield of the Americas” is – but he hopes Noem doesn’t leave it lying around at Capital Burger.
In her stead comes Senator Markwayne Mullin. The Oklahoman has a much lower tolerance for tomfoolery: when he’s not squaring up to union bosses in Senate hearings, he’s spilling the tea about Matt Gaetz’s alleged antics with young ladies and ED medicine. Truly a safe pair of hands.
More mischief and mayhem
America’s last war in the Middle East
By Daniel McCarthy
Trump’s ultimate target in this war is China
By Geoffrey Cain
I liked the Diary much better when Cockburn stuck to reporting D.C. partying by our betters, political gossip, and the quality of the caviar at pricey D.C. restaurants. Lately, he sounds like every other Spectator pundit commenting on the day's topic du jour, which I find disappointing.
Never mind me. I was out strolling and came upon this peaceful spot. I'm going to meditate here where there's no chance of interruption